Page 60 - Senior Link Magazine Spring 2025 - Online Magazine

Focus
FAMILY

WHEN YOUR
partner

LOSES A LIMB

by Michele Houston

At 5-foot-nothing, you are now the “tall” one in your
partnership—no more asking your 6’1 partner to get
something off that top shelf. No more holding hands
while walking in a parking lot or anywhere. You now
hold the handles of the wheelchair as you push, and
he wheels. After 40+ years of sleeping together, now
you must adapt to new positions. It’s a lot harder than
one would imagine. It is these little, subtle changes
that smack you in the heart.

You will be on a roller coaster of emotions—yours
and your partner’s. Anger, depression and grief will
hit. And all are valid. Most don’t think of grief, but
something has been taken that will never be again, so
yes, grief is a very real emotion. Facing the loss and
learning to accept the loss are defining moments. It
doesn’t happen overnight. What you and your partner
dreamt of and thought you would be doing at this
stage of your life is not what you’re doing. Not in your
wildest dreams would you have thought of being a
part of the amputee world.

When it is a medical mistake that has set you on this
journey, you advocate for your partner and research
and do everything possible for him. Sometimes it
works, and sometimes it doesn’t. You have so much
All of a sudden, your world is flipped upside down. anger for the “medical professional” who did not
Yes, you knew the amputation was going to happen, listen. But you have to put your anger aside and walk
but in no way are you prepared for all the “little” this journey with your partner. Your partner is also
changes. You prepare for the major changes, but you going through those emotions, and sometimes—No,
don’t know or realize all the other ways in which your a lot of times—you are on the receiving end of the
life will be changing. gamut of emotions. You definitely have to have a close
circle of friends and family who support you—in the

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