Page 34 - Senior Link Magazine Winter 2017- Online Magazine

HONORING SENIORS

The Baby, The

Midwife, The Hope

by Kara Leslie

involves risk, and a companion to navigate the darkness can
“Do you see him?” help us find light and live into it. My sweet friend had held
These were her first her feelings inside, since that day when she was told there was
words to me. no room for sadness over the death of her baby. Now that she
I looked around was dying, she wanted to know if healing of her soul could and
the room, and it would happen.
was just the two of us, nobody else. My eyes re-focused on Her eyes seemed to get heavy, and she closed them for a few
her gentle face, scarred from the recent brain surgery, her gray minutes. I sat there next to her, praying in silence and gently
wispy hair, and her bright blue eyes. Her smile was genuine humming “Jesus Loves Me”.
and reflected deep into her soul. She was laying down in her She opened her eyes and asked, “Do you think I will be able
bed looking out the window, which opened up to an enclosed to hold my baby when I get to heaven?”
porch. My hand was already holding hers, and I
She raised her hand slowly and “It is hard soul work to placed my other hand to caress them, “Yes,
said, “He is over there, looking in the grieve and to mourn over any you will, and Jesus will be right there with
window.” you, for He has taken care of her all these
I turned my head . . . still no one. I kind of loss. ” years, and He understands how much you
asked her, “Who is it?” love her.”
She gave me a look. “Why, it is Jesus, of course. Can’t you In a way, death is like a birth, and a chaplain is like a
tell by His clothes and His beard?” midwife. The care and skill of a spiritual counselor can be very
I responded, “Yes, of course, it is.” comforting at this most significant of occasions.
She continued to look out the window. Her face warmed, Kara Leslie is a board-certified chaplain with Interim
and her eyes softened even more as she added, “Do you see the Hospice and has a faith-based counseling practice.
baby in his arms? That is my baby girl.”
I sat silently as I watched her gaze out the window; then a
tear fell from her eye and nestled into her hair. Another tear
and then another came, and she looked as if she wanted to
get out of the bed to go hold her baby girl. She told me the
story of how she had experienced a miscarriage at five months
pregnant and never got to hold her baby because, back then,
they thought it was best to take a deceased baby away and
never let the mother see or hold the child. She had already
had a name for her and a few baby things, but what was most
important to her was that she never got to have an opportunity
to wrap her arms around the little life born from her womb.
She never got to love on her baby, even if she had never taken a
breath. She had grieved over this for 45 years, and now as she
lay dying, she wanted to know if, when she got to heaven, she
would be able to finally hold her precious baby girl.
This is the kind of story I often hear from my patients as
they move from this world to the kingdom of heaven. Hospice
chaplains are important companions for people and family as
they make this transition. Grief is rarely single. Death can and
often does open up the memory of other deaths, which have
not been fully mourned. We never know how we are going to
react when someone we love dies or even when a relationship
ends. We do know that it is hard soul work to grieve and
to mourn over any kind of loss. It is often helpful to have a
spiritual counselor or chaplain to listen and care for you, as
you go through the emotions associated with a loss. Grieving

34 Lubbock Senior Link