Page 65 - Senior Link Magazine Winter 2017- Online Magazine

Grief can be overwhelming. But reaching out and learning
how to find strength and support can help a person take
charge of the grief, and that will go a long way toward
making the holidays after the loss of a loved one a bit
more bearable. Here are a few ways to begin:

Accept that your pain will be triggered.

From music to decorations, to shoppers crowding stores
to holiday advertisements, the holidays are all around us.
Some people find that simply accepting the fact that the
holiday season will be hard and painful provides more
strength to cope. It’s okay to lower expectations of the
holiday season. One cannot expect to feel the way he or
she once did, and should not feel guilty because of it.

Prepare and plan ahead.

Thinking ahead and anticipating activities allows people
the opportunity to structure time in such a way that
mitigates the temptation to overdo things, or get caught
up in others’ expectations and regret it later. If it’s too
painful to participate in certain holiday activities, make
that known ahead of time. Consider doing something
altogether different when it comes to dinners, church
services or other activities. Lighten the load if plans
become too much.

Ask for support and help.

Getting enough support during the holidays means
reaching out to others who may be experiencing or
have experienced the same thing, as well as asking for
assistance with holiday preparations. Research support
groups in your area. Most people find grief lessens when
they realize others feel the exact same way. For others,
counseling sessions work well. Even online support
groups are places you can find ideas on how to cope.
Though it is important to set aside time to grieve, don’t
become isolated, especially during the holidays.

What about holiday traditions?

Knowing what to do about family traditions is one of
the hardest things people face after the death of a loved
one. Don’t be afraid to tell family members that certain
traditions will be too hard. Plan to do only what is special
and meaningful to you. Most people experiencing grief
during the holidays do find creating some new tradition
to honor a loved one helps. The holidays are stressful
for everyone and are never as magical as we sometimes
perceive. The goal is to do whatever feels best.