Page 36 - Senior Link Magazine Winter 2021- Online Magazine

SENIOR RESOURCES

DEALING WITH
Grief

DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON

By: Sydney Wenglein, M.S., LMFT-A

hough many people look Self-Care been shown to reduce stress. It is
forward to holidays, the joyful Grief affects people physically, normal for joy and grief to coexist, and
Tanticipation is not universal. mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. it is in no way disrespectful to the loved
In fact, most people going through Getting enough rest and nourishing one nor does it minimize the longing
grief may find themselves dreading the body can help minimize exhaustion for the loved one or love felt for a loved
holidays. They might even wish they and illness. Healthy coping techniques, one.
could go to sleep until the festivities such as taking a hot bath, listening
are over, due to the sorrow of going to music, going for a walk or drive, Honor and Remember
through the season without a loved journaling, or calling a friend can also Loved One
one. help reduce stress and intense feelings Memorializing a loved one in a
that can occur with the holiday season. way that is meaningful can help
Although there is no perfect solution the bereaved navigate the holiday
to take away the pain that comes with Ask for Help/Needs season and start new traditions that
the holidays while experiencing grief, People often associate the holidays incorporate the memory of the loved
there are some suggestions that can with giving, and with expressing love one. A helpful tip: If trying something
help the bereaved navigate the season and compassion to others. Taking new does not help or work, there is no
a little more smoothly and minimize advantage of people’s offers to assist need to keep doing it! Try other ideas
the intense feelings that are often can help the bereaved feel supported that feel more helpful. There is no right
experienced.
and minimize loneliness, while also or wrong way to do things. Some ideas
One of the most difficult parts of giving others the opportunity to offer to consider include:
grief is loss of control, which leads to support however it may be needed.
feelings of insecurity and instability. Friends and family cannot read minds, • Cooking a loved one’s favorite dish
By considering some of the following so asking for help and voicing needs is
points, bereaved families and important and helps them feel needed. • Giving money or donations to a
individuals can start to regain control, charity or nursing home that a loved
plan, and anticipate steps helpful Permission to Grieve one appreciated or was connected to
toward grief recovery. The holiday season will not be the
same without a loved one, and it is ok • Listening to music or watching a
Plan Ahead to feel frustrated, sad, and depressed. movie a loved one enjoyed
Be proactive and decide which tasks Accepting these feelings and giving
for the day are most important. Keep yourself permission to grieve and • Offering a prayer or toast to the
in mind, the anticipation of the holiday feel anxious is normal and part of the loved one over a meal with family
can often feel more painful than the grief experience, especially during
actual day itself. Having goals to the holidays. Also, give yourself • Hanging a stocking for a loved one
accomplish, including ways to honor permission to enjoy an activity or and encouraging family to write
and remember a loved one can help the have moments of happiness. Some special notes to put in the stocking
day pass more easily. Starting a new bereaved people feel guilty if they (Family members can read them
tradition that incorporates the memory experience happiness, but the emotion aloud over dinner or on Christmas
of a loved one can help. is appropriate, especially when Eve or Day.)
surrounded by loved ones, and has

36 Lubbock Senior Link