Page 72 - Senior Link Magazine Summer 2018- Online Magazine

HONORING SENIORS

Uncle Earl

and Uncle Abner

An Excerpt from The Hen House Chronicles BY SUE SWINSON

Uncle Earl and Uncle Abner were brothers. They had Uncle Abner jes’ don’t know exactly how it happened, but
always been good buddies. When they were kids he said before he could turn around Uncle Earl was out of
they were always pulling pranks on each other. As the truck, fifty yards up in a field, jumpin’ up and down
the years moved on, and they grew older, the pranks and screamin’ like a woman. The passenger door was
of old just became stories to tell at family gatherings. standin’ wide open, the glove box door was gone, so was
Now, Uncle Earl was a big man. I mean “BIG”. He the rearview mirror, the gear shift knob and the little snake.
was about 6’3” and weighed about 300 pounds. As My…my…my.
large as he was, he was “skert” (scared) of snakes. I Uncle Earl may have been afraid of snakes, but after that
do mean ter-ree-fied! He didn’t even like a crooked episode Uncle Abner was afraid of Uncle Earl. Verrrrry
extension cord. afraid!
Uncle Abner was about 5’8” and weighed about 160
pounds. He was not afraid of anything but Aunt
Maudie.
One day Uncle Abner got it in his head to have some
fun out of Uncle Earl. He had to go to the feed store,
so he went by Uncle Earl’s place and asked him to
come with him. Uncle Earl liked to catch up on the
latest community news (gossip), so he decided to ride
along.
Uncle Earl had to get into Uncle Abner’s truck on the
driver’s side. This took real effort. The passenger’s
side door would not open due to the fact that Uncle
Abner’s bull had rammed it last fall. Anyway, after
much pushing, shoving, moaning and groaning,
Uncle Earl finally got in, and off they went.
Now unbeknownst to Uncle Earl, Uncle Abner had
put a little grass snake in the glove box.
On down the road, Uncle Abner acted like he thought
he had a flat tire. He stopped, got out and walked
around the truck, kicking the tires and pretending to
check them real good.
When he got to the passenger side window he said,
“Earl, hand me that tire gauge in the glove box.”
Uncle Earl obliged. When the glove box lid dropped
down, so did the little, bug-eyed snake. It wiggled
off the lid, across Uncle Earl’s knee and over to the
driver’s side of the truck.

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